I'd already read a few of your Bojack-themed stories and I'm glad to see that you're sticking with the theme! I've seen the show myself and I think it's a really funny concept to attach mythology (the equivalent of ancient pop culture) to a show that's a satire on pop culture. That being said, I'd love to see you take the Bojack characters and make them your own. You're super familiar with the show -- what if you took the cast and sent them on an adventure that was totally your own? I bet you'd do a fantastic job of tying it into whatever mythology you're reading for class.
I also think that a few pictures could really help your portfolio come to life! Maybe a banner of the "Hollywoo" sign across your homepage or something similar to establish the feeling that we're in Bojack's world as soon as we hit your site.
Hi Darren! Nice work. I think I already commented on an earlier version of this story, but I enjoyed reading it again. I'll mostly comment on the layout of the site. I really like the setup that you've used for the story page with the picture vertical at the side. The image itself was a good choice as well, since it fits your color scheme well. I do wonder about the banner image - I like that you've kept it simple, but I think you could get away with a pattern of some sort rather than just the faded browny-greeny bit. Finally, it looks like there's room on the front page for some pictures! It would look really nice with a bit more color there as well. Also, what is the title of the story? Is it "yes"? If so, that might need some explanation to make sense. You may want to use the title in the link at the top right corner of the home page rather than "Story 1."
This is the first time I have read your BoJack story and find the concept of retelling mythology using BoJack to be extremely creative and funny! You are obviously very familiar with the show (I must confess that I have only seen small bits) and it shows in how you characterize BoJack and the others. One suggestion I have is to perhaps add a background or banner in keeping with the BoJack theme, just so the stories tie in with the website design. Your writing style is extremely enjoyable and fluid and I really like the level of creativity you have showed in this first part of your portfolio. I look forward to seeing what else you write and with becoming more familiar with BoJack and his costars! I think I might actually start watching the show, as it seems funny! I have heard lots of people mention it, but have never really had the desire til now to actually sit down and watch it. Anyway, I really like the direction you are taking this!
I just read your story about Bojack and man this is such a cool concept. I cannot tell you how many hours I have spent watching this show as it is one of my favorites. I think that it is so creative that you are using such a loose cannon such as Bojack as a main character. While Bojack is wild, he also has deep issues that continue to haunt him. I think that makes him perfect for this story as it is something that I could definitely see him doing. Also I wanted to comment on your design that you have. I think that your site could not be better, as I love the matching feel that it has. I am trying to figure out how you got Bojack Horseman in the top left of your website. That is really cool and I wish I could figure it out so I could do something similar to that on mine. Additionally, I love your style of writing and your word choice. I feel it helps with getting the image in the readers head and allowing them to mentally picture it. Especially for us Bojack Fans, it is really easy to see Bojack and even (for me) hear him saying the words. I also think it is good that you have a photo so others can see what he looks like. You may want to put a video in there of him talking so people know what he sounds like and can better picture it as well.
I love love love that you have been sticking to your Bojack horseman theme. It makes reading your stories so enjoyable. I also love the design of your site! I think it is absolutely amazing. It helps the reader get into the theme and open up this world to them. It takes some really creativity to take a popular TV show and make that theme yours.
I have watched almost all of Bojack Horseman, and I think what you have done with your portfolio is nothing short of amazing! The layout, formatting, and theming of your website for your portfolio is really well done and has a really cool visual effect on the reader. You definitely have some really web design skills that I wish I could use and replicate on my own website for my storybook project. The writing of your Bojack stories does a very good job of portraying the spirt and essence of the show and Bojack himself, while also doing a great job of staying true to the spirit and essence of the myth you are basing your story on, which is not always an easy balance to strike! Keep up the stellar work, Darren! I can't wait to read more stories about Bojack Horseman!
I have never seen an episode of Bojack Horseman, so it was interesting for me to be introduced to this character through your eyes. I liked how with each story about Bojack Horseman, you really drove home that his personality was really a big cause of a lot of his problems. He knows what he should, and he knows how to accomplish them, but when his chance comes, things do not go as planned. I think you did a really great job taking a mythology story and rewriting it for this character. Since I haven't seen this show, I wondered why Bojack Horseman is like this. Does he really want to stay this way, or will he have a chance for growth? A suggestion I have would be expanding more on the character, so the reader understands more why Bojack Horseman is the way he is instead of just describing him as forgetful.
I really enjoyed the creativity in your story. I thought that your story was very interesting and a fun read. I liked how your story was based off of “The Lion’s Share”. I thought that the changes that you made really showcased your creative side. I also really liked the comedy that you incorporated into the story. I am not familiar with Bojack Horseman but after readying your story I am interested in learning more about him. The plot of your story shocked me. I wasn’t expecting Bojack to essential dis everyone and claim his success was due to him and him only. thought that your portfolio was very organized and easy to find things. I also liked the design of your portfolio. Overall, I thought that your story had great detail, was a fun read, and very entertaining. I really don’t have any suggestions on how to improve your story.
I enjoyed reading your stories and enjoyed getting to know the characters within them. I have never seen the show so I had no idea who these characters were until you described them. I would like to make a suggestion on your first story. I have found that sometimes providing an information dump about the company is not always the best way for you to introduce a character. I would consider using dialogue to make the information about the company going though a hard time easier to read. Dialogue can also help with making your readers more attached to your characters. I encourage you to keep writing and making stories. As a professional writing major I have learned about steps that help the reader become attached to stories and as a result I would encourage you to read about James Scott Bell's 14 steps of writing within his book called super structure. There are many good things that can come from reading about structuring your stories. Your stories are great and I have enjoyed reading them. I look forward to reading more of your work.
I just read your new story. I like the change of tone you made with the second story, as compared to the first one. Bojack’s Oscar felt more emotionally-driven. The way you weaved all the pieces of the story together worked very well. The dialogue was on point. It was so easy for the reader to follow along. I don’t have much to critique or recommend, honestly. You’ve done some solid writing with this story.
The only thing I could mention is that I was left wanting more. More in terms of internal thoughts Bojack was having towards the end, his new gameplan for life (if applicable), and just his overall feeling. The dialogue definitely does a lot for the reader, but ending merely with Diane comforting Bojack while the Oscars continued on doesn’t put much emphasis on Bojack and the struggles he had just expressed. It just felt like Bojack and his feelings were undermined and cut short by the much bigger Oscars. After all, the story is more about him rather than the Oscars itself. Keep up the great work. You’re a gifted writer.
Yet another great read from your series! I always make sure to make it a point to read your Bojack inspired stories. I think they are absolutely brilliant. I myself haven't seen the show, but from what my friends have said, I can tell you are truly capturing the essence of the show and his character. Lately I've been thinking of picking up the show because your stories have been so good!
I have to admit I originally clicked on your profile solely because of the title. What a cool idea! It definitely works to draw the audience in and give them a great idea of what they might find in your portfolio. What a unique idea to tell your story from these perspectives. It definitely works to take these traditional stories and add a bit of modern and even comedic aspects. I really enjoy modernizing stories as I feel it helps to draw in audiences that might not be willing to read the older, original story. Your portfolio speaks to that immensely! Additionally, I really like how much dialogue you use in your stories. It definitely makes the longer paragraphs easier to read and allows the entire story to go by much faster. Great job and I can't wait to see what else you write this semester!
I really like how you have stuck to this theme and I think you have really grown throughout the semester because of your dedication to the theme and creating a high quality story each week! I love your portfolio title, it is really funny and almost adds even more of another layer to your set. Your website look is very consistent with your theme. I think that is something you have done really well, being consistent. Really really great job!
I enjoy reading your stories, so I decided to come back and see your newest story about Bojack. I had never heard of Bojack Horseman until I read your stories, and I will admit that I did look it up and watch a couple episodes. The only way I could describe the show is just bizarre, and odd. But I did get a grasp of who Bojack Horseman really is, and from what I can tell it looks like you have hit the nail right on the head! I think you made up this whole Oscar scenario, and if you did then I am genuinely impressed! It honestly looks like it could have come right out of the show! Keep up the good work, and I am totally looking forward to coming back to your stories. I can't wait to see what comes next.
Hey Darren, I just want to start off by saying that the moment I saw your project was based off of Bojack Horseman, I knew I had to read it. Bojack Horseman is a gift. Onto your stories though, I absolutely loved them. You kept the tone and vibe of the show throughout your retelling, and you did it in a very successful way. You managed to retell the stories you chose in such a fun way, while still displaying the backbone of them. Another thing that I really enjoyed about this, is that you still manage to express yourself creatively. I think the content of your stories is amazing. The way you handle the dialogue, and the way you set the scenes and expand on the characters is awesome, especially while keeping the spirit on the show going. Honestly man, great job on this. Look forward to reading your future work.
Hey there Darren! These were such great reads so far in your series of stories. I really do enjoy how you have taken your stories and tied them through Bojack. The titles of each story do a really good job of telling the reader wat it may be about. On top of this, your portfolio is very organized and easy for the reader to navigate. In all of your stories you did a great job at grabbing the reader’s attention and really captivating them throughout the story. You did a really great job with each of the reading notes, since I had never read the stories before, these notes really allowed me to see where you were coming from with your creation of the different stories. I really liked the images that you chose to use for each story, I think each of them almost told a little bit of the story themselves and really had a key part in each story.
I actually read this story of yours before you posted it on your portfolio. I liked the details you added at the beginning. I think it adds a bit more the the background of the story. I like the idea of the step dad teaching his step son to not be exactly like him. I think you got the moral of the story across really well in a light and funny way! As usual, keep up the great work!
I love the image that you used above. Such a great clever idea and definitely caught my eye. Such a great idea for your Portfolio topic. I have really enjoyed having the opportunity to read some of your stories this semester. I love that each story is tied to Bojack. I am definitely thoroughly entertained throughout the entirety of each story and I'm sure other readers are as well. I just finished reading The Loose Cannon and The Tight Cannon and thought it was very well written! I've never seen Bojack Horseman myself so am not sure of how the characters in the show act but love the additional character you decided to add into the story. I really appreciated how you handles transforming a traditional story in to a modern, comedic one while still staying true to the original meaning and message behind the tale. Great job!
Hi Darren, Wow, your storybook is pretty impactful in quite a few ways. The visual effects you have are really effective considering your content. The colorful and cartoonish images worked really well with all of your chapters. I would consider having a different image or location of the horseman between the chapters, as it gets a tad redundant. Perhaps consider adding more images to what you have on your site already? Having no background on what Bojack is, it was pretty eye-opening and fun to read about for the first time! I like how you are not afraid to use a lot of dialogue in your story. It really helps the characters act out the plot rather than you just telling the readers what is happening. Your ability to take the original story and make it very comical in a modern way is very skillful. This is a great project!
Hey howdy Darren, These look great. I remember reading some of your posts on you blogger and am stoked to see that your semester long project has turned out so well. I love the layout of your portfolio, for one. It seems very inviting and encourages interaction with not just your posts but the overall theme of the site. I had a little bit of trouble navigating between the pages, but that problem only came about because of my interest to see what else was there. I liked your English tales specifically. I know that they are just reading notes, but the depth that you go into when reflecting on the reading is pretty thought provoking. I also had quite an appreciation for this unit. To see your interest come through in the depth of your reading notes means that the unit was as impressive to you as it was to me. Excited to see what you come up with next!
Hi Darren, This is the first time I have seen your page! Nice work! I haven’t seen any Bojack-themed stories until yours. I am not too familiar with the concept, but I know of people that really like it. As for the layout of your site, I really love the colors and theme you have going. Maybe add in some more images, I think that could be a real asset. I have noticed you have great web design skills, I definitely wish I was better at designing a website. The dialogue incorporated in your story was right on. I never lost interest and was able to follow along really well. Overall, I think you truly captured the concept of Bojack horseman, with your modern and comedic twist. What a great idea! Keep it up and enjoy the rest of your semester!
Hey Darren, as promised I am back to read your next installment. Hands down, one of the best ideas for a project I've seen. I am also very impartial toward Bojack. Your last story of the Loose Cannon and the Tight Cannon was hilarious. I think the way you went about it by ridiculing both characters, but in a deeper way and less superficial than the original. I think this allowed you to add a certain layer of depth that the original bushed up on because it was slightly too ridiculous. Again, the dialogue was great and it pulled the story together. The way you translated the Bojack universe characters into the retelling was flawless. Awesome job man, for real.
Hi Darren, I really like the design of your website. It is very exciting and cartoony, which goes really well with the theme. After reading the first story, I am still confused what Bojack Horseman really is. Maybe, you should explain that in the introduction or discussion of your portfolio. Your second story was very funny. I like the name changes like Bread Poot and Jerg Clooners. How clever! I had no idea that this was a rewriting of the Aesop story! You have changed it up so well and added so many details that I imagine this as something real. At least in this story, the main character ends up with some support (Diane). I liked the last story a lot, too. Your writing is amazing. I could feel as if I was being there and seeing the whole story unfold right in front of my eyes. Your use of dialogue was fantastic. One suggestion I would have would to be maybe spaced out your paragraphs a little, but it is perfect, regardless! Can't wait for more!
I had read a couple of your Bojack Horseman stories already, and I knew I wanted to come back for more. Your stories are very unique, and I think that is partly because Bojack Horseman is pretty much a failure at everything at this point in his life. Every time I read it, Bojack just makes me sad because he puts zero effort into his life, complains about his life being horrible, then repeats. I don’t feel any sympathy for him, yet I can’t stop reading about him. It’s truly a dilemma. Professor Gibbs has made a point to me about creating separate paragraphs for dialogue, and it appears you’ve done that very well. I think it just makes everything more clear about who is talking at what times. One other feature I’ve seen is some people are italicizing the quotes from the main character. This really helps in those dialogues as well. Great work!
Hi Darren, I really hope Netflix hires you! You would be a fantastic writer for the show. Your stories are so funny and accurate to bojack's character. You obviously know the show well. I read your first story back when it was first uploaded and I absolutely loved it. As someone who watches the show myself, I could tell how much of a great job you had really done. So when I saw it pop up in the list of portfolios and storybooks, I had to click on it to see how you had continued this project. I was not disappointed. I'm actually really impressed how you managed to turn different myths and fables into Bojack Horseman content. You have a talent. My favorite story of yours is the Loose Canon and Tight Canon. It is so hilarious and I could totally see that happening in the show. Good luck getting hired, you'd be great at it. -Ann
Hi Darren, Hope you are well. I enjoyed your stories and found the moral components of each to be very interesting. I also enjoyed getting a small taste of the show through your writing. I think you would do well as a screenwriter and I hope that your semester is going well. I found that I enjoyed the story about Vincent Adultman to be very good and entertaining. I feel as though there is some raw truth in these stories and I really liked how your author's note went into these raw truths. I really liked the lesson that was being taught in the Adultman story as it is something many of us fail to recognize in our day to day lives. Our own self care is vital to our success no matter what we are pursuing. Good luck with finals and Good luck with getting hired as a screenwriter.
Hi Darren! As soon as I saw the title of your portfolio, I knew it would be great. I absolutely loved the Bojack Horseman show, so I was looking forward to reading your tales. I'm from the Indian Epics class so I don't actually know what any of the source works, but from your authors notes they seem really spot on! Except Bojack's Oscar, that was less spot on and more inspired by the original with a Bojack-y twist. I also like how you included a number of the interesting characters from the TV show in your project: Princess Carolyn, Todd, Vincent, Meow Meow Fuzzyface, etc. They felt true to their character too so I could see these being actual events in the show. Your website is also really pleasant to look at. You picked a good structure and some complementing photos for your stories (though it's just the same photo over and over again, but it works well for some reason).
Hey, Darren!
ReplyDeleteI'd already read a few of your Bojack-themed stories and I'm glad to see that you're sticking with the theme! I've seen the show myself and I think it's a really funny concept to attach mythology (the equivalent of ancient pop culture) to a show that's a satire on pop culture. That being said, I'd love to see you take the Bojack characters and make them your own. You're super familiar with the show -- what if you took the cast and sent them on an adventure that was totally your own? I bet you'd do a fantastic job of tying it into whatever mythology you're reading for class.
I also think that a few pictures could really help your portfolio come to life! Maybe a banner of the "Hollywoo" sign across your homepage or something similar to establish the feeling that we're in Bojack's world as soon as we hit your site.
I can't wait to read more of your work!
Hi Darren!
ReplyDeleteNice work. I think I already commented on an earlier version of this story, but I enjoyed reading it again.
I'll mostly comment on the layout of the site. I really like the setup that you've used for the story page with the picture vertical at the side. The image itself was a good choice as well, since it fits your color scheme well. I do wonder about the banner image - I like that you've kept it simple, but I think you could get away with a pattern of some sort rather than just the faded browny-greeny bit. Finally, it looks like there's room on the front page for some pictures! It would look really nice with a bit more color there as well.
Also, what is the title of the story? Is it "yes"? If so, that might need some explanation to make sense. You may want to use the title in the link at the top right corner of the home page rather than "Story 1."
Hello, Darren!
ReplyDeleteThis is the first time I have read your BoJack story and find the concept of retelling mythology using BoJack to be extremely creative and funny! You are obviously very familiar with the show (I must confess that I have only seen small bits) and it shows in how you characterize BoJack and the others. One suggestion I have is to perhaps add a background or banner in keeping with the BoJack theme, just so the stories tie in with the website design. Your writing style is extremely enjoyable and fluid and I really like the level of creativity you have showed in this first part of your portfolio. I look forward to seeing what else you write and with becoming more familiar with BoJack and his costars! I think I might actually start watching the show, as it seems funny! I have heard lots of people mention it, but have never really had the desire til now to actually sit down and watch it. Anyway, I really like the direction you are taking this!
Great work!
Hello!
ReplyDeleteI just read your story about Bojack and man this is such a cool concept. I cannot tell you how many hours I have spent watching this show as it is one of my favorites. I think that it is so creative that you are using such a loose cannon such as Bojack as a main character. While Bojack is wild, he also has deep issues that continue to haunt him. I think that makes him perfect for this story as it is something that I could definitely see him doing. Also I wanted to comment on your design that you have. I think that your site could not be better, as I love the matching feel that it has. I am trying to figure out how you got Bojack Horseman in the top left of your website. That is really cool and I wish I could figure it out so I could do something similar to that on mine. Additionally, I love your style of writing and your word choice. I feel it helps with getting the image in the readers head and allowing them to mentally picture it. Especially for us Bojack Fans, it is really easy to see Bojack and even (for me) hear him saying the words. I also think it is good that you have a photo so others can see what he looks like. You may want to put a video in there of him talking so people know what he sounds like and can better picture it as well.
Hey Darren,
ReplyDeleteI love love love that you have been sticking to your Bojack horseman theme. It makes reading your stories so enjoyable. I also love the design of your site! I think it is absolutely amazing. It helps the reader get into the theme and open up this world to them. It takes some really creativity to take a popular TV show and make that theme yours.
Hey Darren!
ReplyDeleteI have watched almost all of Bojack Horseman, and I think what you have done with your portfolio is nothing short of amazing! The layout, formatting, and theming of your website for your portfolio is really well done and has a really cool visual effect on the reader. You definitely have some really web design skills that I wish I could use and replicate on my own website for my storybook project. The writing of your Bojack stories does a very good job of portraying the spirt and essence of the show and Bojack himself, while also doing a great job of staying true to the spirit and essence of the myth you are basing your story on, which is not always an easy balance to strike! Keep up the stellar work, Darren! I can't wait to read more stories about Bojack Horseman!
Hi Darren,
ReplyDeleteI have never seen an episode of Bojack Horseman, so it was interesting for me to be introduced to this character through your eyes. I liked how with each story about Bojack Horseman, you really drove home that his personality was really a big cause of a lot of his problems. He knows what he should, and he knows how to accomplish them, but when his chance comes, things do not go as planned. I think you did a really great job taking a mythology story and rewriting it for this character. Since I haven't seen this show, I wondered why Bojack Horseman is like this. Does he really want to stay this way, or will he have a chance for growth? A suggestion I have would be expanding more on the character, so the reader understands more why Bojack Horseman is the way he is instead of just describing him as forgetful.
Hi Darren,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed the creativity in your story. I thought that your story was very interesting and a fun read. I liked how your story was based off of “The Lion’s Share”. I thought that the changes that you made really showcased your creative side. I also really liked the comedy that you incorporated into the story. I am not familiar with Bojack Horseman but after readying your story I am interested in learning more about him. The plot of your story shocked me. I wasn’t expecting Bojack to essential dis everyone and claim his success was due to him and him only. thought that your portfolio was very organized and easy to find things. I also liked the design of your portfolio. Overall, I thought that your story had great detail, was a fun read, and very entertaining. I really don’t have any suggestions on how to improve your story.
Hi Darren,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading your stories and enjoyed getting to know the characters within them. I have never seen the show so I had no idea who these characters were until you described them. I would like to make a suggestion on your first story. I have found that sometimes providing an information dump about the company is not always the best way for you to introduce a character. I would consider using dialogue to make the information about the company going though a hard time easier to read. Dialogue can also help with making your readers more attached to your characters. I encourage you to keep writing and making stories.
As a professional writing major I have learned about steps that help the reader become attached to stories and as a result I would encourage you to read about James Scott Bell's 14 steps of writing within his book called super structure. There are many good things that can come from reading about structuring your stories. Your stories are great and I have enjoyed reading them. I look forward to reading more of your work.
Darren,
ReplyDeleteI just read your new story. I like the change of tone you made with the second story, as compared to the first one. Bojack’s Oscar felt more emotionally-driven. The way you weaved all the pieces of the story together worked very well. The dialogue was on point. It was so easy for the reader to follow along. I don’t have much to critique or recommend, honestly. You’ve done some solid writing with this story.
The only thing I could mention is that I was left wanting more. More in terms of internal thoughts Bojack was having towards the end, his new gameplan for life (if applicable), and just his overall feeling. The dialogue definitely does a lot for the reader, but ending merely with Diane comforting Bojack while the Oscars continued on doesn’t put much emphasis on Bojack and the struggles he had just expressed. It just felt like Bojack and his feelings were undermined and cut short by the much bigger Oscars. After all, the story is more about him rather than the Oscars itself.
Keep up the great work. You’re a gifted writer.
-Lance J.
Darren,
ReplyDeleteYet another great read from your series! I always make sure to make it a point to read your Bojack inspired stories. I think they are absolutely brilliant. I myself haven't seen the show, but from what my friends have said, I can tell you are truly capturing the essence of the show and his character. Lately I've been thinking of picking up the show because your stories have been so good!
Hi Darren,
ReplyDeleteI have to admit I originally clicked on your profile solely because of the title. What a cool idea! It definitely works to draw the audience in and give them a great idea of what they might find in your portfolio. What a unique idea to tell your story from these perspectives. It definitely works to take these traditional stories and add a bit of modern and even comedic aspects. I really enjoy modernizing stories as I feel it helps to draw in audiences that might not be willing to read the older, original story. Your portfolio speaks to that immensely! Additionally, I really like how much dialogue you use in your stories. It definitely makes the longer paragraphs easier to read and allows the entire story to go by much faster. Great job and I can't wait to see what else you write this semester!
Hey Darren,
ReplyDeleteI really like how you have stuck to this theme and I think you have really grown throughout the semester because of your dedication to the theme and creating a high quality story each week! I love your portfolio title, it is really funny and almost adds even more of another layer to your set. Your website look is very consistent with your theme. I think that is something you have done really well, being consistent. Really really great job!
Hey Darren,
ReplyDeleteI enjoy reading your stories, so I decided to come back and see your newest story about Bojack. I had never heard of Bojack Horseman until I read your stories, and I will admit that I did look it up and watch a couple episodes. The only way I could describe the show is just bizarre, and odd. But I did get a grasp of who Bojack Horseman really is, and from what I can tell it looks like you have hit the nail right on the head! I think you made up this whole Oscar scenario, and if you did then I am genuinely impressed! It honestly looks like it could have come right out of the show! Keep up the good work, and I am totally looking forward to coming back to your stories. I can't wait to see what comes next.
Great job,
Brady
Hey Darren, I just want to start off by saying that the moment I saw your project was based off of Bojack Horseman, I knew I had to read it. Bojack Horseman is a gift. Onto your stories though, I absolutely loved them. You kept the tone and vibe of the show throughout your retelling, and you did it in a very successful way. You managed to retell the stories you chose in such a fun way, while still displaying the backbone of them. Another thing that I really enjoyed about this, is that you still manage to express yourself creatively. I think the content of your stories is amazing. The way you handle the dialogue, and the way you set the scenes and expand on the characters is awesome, especially while keeping the spirit on the show going. Honestly man, great job on this. Look forward to reading your future work.
ReplyDeleteHey there Darren!
ReplyDeleteThese were such great reads so far in your series of stories. I really do enjoy how you have taken your stories and tied them through Bojack. The titles of each story do a really good job of telling the reader wat it may be about. On top of this, your portfolio is very organized and easy for the reader to navigate. In all of your stories you did a great job at grabbing the reader’s attention and really captivating them throughout the story. You did a really great job with each of the reading notes, since I had never read the stories before, these notes really allowed me to see where you were coming from with your creation of the different stories. I really liked the images that you chose to use for each story, I think each of them almost told a little bit of the story themselves and really had a key part in each story.
Hey Darren,
ReplyDeleteI actually read this story of yours before you posted it on your portfolio. I liked the details you added at the beginning. I think it adds a bit more the the background of the story. I like the idea of the step dad teaching his step son to not be exactly like him. I think you got the moral of the story across really well in a light and funny way! As usual, keep up the great work!
Hi Darren,
ReplyDeleteI love the image that you used above. Such a great clever idea and definitely caught my eye. Such a great idea for your Portfolio topic. I have really enjoyed having the opportunity to read some of your stories this semester. I love that each story is tied to Bojack. I am definitely thoroughly entertained throughout the entirety of each story and I'm sure other readers are as well. I just finished reading The Loose Cannon and The Tight Cannon and thought it was very well written! I've never seen Bojack Horseman myself so am not sure of how the characters in the show act but love the additional character you decided to add into the story. I really appreciated how you handles transforming a traditional story in to a modern, comedic one while still staying true to the original meaning and message behind the tale. Great job!
Hi Darren,
ReplyDeleteWow, your storybook is pretty impactful in quite a few ways. The visual effects you have are really effective considering your content. The colorful and cartoonish images worked really well with all of your chapters. I would consider having a different image or location of the horseman between the chapters, as it gets a tad redundant. Perhaps consider adding more images to what you have on your site already? Having no background on what Bojack is, it was pretty eye-opening and fun to read about for the first time! I like how you are not afraid to use a lot of dialogue in your story. It really helps the characters act out the plot rather than you just telling the readers what is happening. Your ability to take the original story and make it very comical in a modern way is very skillful. This is a great project!
Hey howdy Darren,
ReplyDeleteThese look great. I remember reading some of your posts on you blogger and am stoked to see that your semester long project has turned out so well. I love the layout of your portfolio, for one. It seems very inviting and encourages interaction with not just your posts but the overall theme of the site. I had a little bit of trouble navigating between the pages, but that problem only came about because of my interest to see what else was there. I liked your English tales specifically. I know that they are just reading notes, but the depth that you go into when reflecting on the reading is pretty thought provoking. I also had quite an appreciation for this unit. To see your interest come through in the depth of your reading notes means that the unit was as impressive to you as it was to me. Excited to see what you come up with next!
Hi Darren,
ReplyDeleteThis is the first time I have seen your page! Nice work! I haven’t seen any Bojack-themed stories until yours. I am not too familiar with the concept, but I know of people that really like it. As for the layout of your site, I really love the colors and theme you have going. Maybe add in some more images, I think that could be a real asset. I have noticed you have great web design skills, I definitely wish I was better at designing a website. The dialogue incorporated in your story was right on. I never lost interest and was able to follow along really well. Overall, I think you truly captured the concept of Bojack horseman, with your modern and comedic twist. What a great idea! Keep it up and enjoy the rest of your semester!
Hey Darren, as promised I am back to read your next installment. Hands down, one of the best ideas for a project I've seen. I am also very impartial toward Bojack. Your last story of the Loose Cannon and the Tight Cannon was hilarious. I think the way you went about it by ridiculing both characters, but in a deeper way and less superficial than the original. I think this allowed you to add a certain layer of depth that the original bushed up on because it was slightly too ridiculous. Again, the dialogue was great and it pulled the story together. The way you translated the Bojack universe characters into the retelling was flawless. Awesome job man, for real.
ReplyDeleteHi Darren,
ReplyDeleteI really like the design of your website. It is very exciting and cartoony, which goes really well with the theme. After reading the first story, I am still confused what Bojack Horseman really is. Maybe, you should explain that in the introduction or discussion of your portfolio.
Your second story was very funny. I like the name changes like Bread Poot and Jerg Clooners. How clever! I had no idea that this was a rewriting of the Aesop story! You have changed it up so well and added so many details that I imagine this as something real. At least in this story, the main character ends up with some support (Diane).
I liked the last story a lot, too. Your writing is amazing. I could feel as if I was being there and seeing the whole story unfold right in front of my eyes. Your use of dialogue was fantastic. One suggestion I would have would to be maybe spaced out your paragraphs a little, but it is perfect, regardless! Can't wait for more!
Hey Darren,
ReplyDeleteI had read a couple of your Bojack Horseman stories already, and I knew I wanted to come back for more. Your stories are very unique, and I think that is partly because Bojack Horseman is pretty much a failure at everything at this point in his life. Every time I read it, Bojack just makes me sad because he puts zero effort into his life, complains about his life being horrible, then repeats. I don’t feel any sympathy for him, yet I can’t stop reading about him. It’s truly a dilemma. Professor Gibbs has made a point to me about creating separate paragraphs for dialogue, and it appears you’ve done that very well. I think it just makes everything more clear about who is talking at what times. One other feature I’ve seen is some people are italicizing the quotes from the main character. This really helps in those dialogues as well. Great work!
Brady
Hi Darren,
ReplyDeleteI really hope Netflix hires you! You would be a fantastic writer for the show. Your stories are so funny and accurate to bojack's character. You obviously know the show well. I read your first story back when it was first uploaded and I absolutely loved it. As someone who watches the show myself, I could tell how much of a great job you had really done. So when I saw it pop up in the list of portfolios and storybooks, I had to click on it to see how you had continued this project. I was not disappointed. I'm actually really impressed how you managed to turn different myths and fables into Bojack Horseman content. You have a talent. My favorite story of yours is the Loose Canon and Tight Canon. It is so hilarious and I could totally see that happening in the show.
Good luck getting hired, you'd be great at it.
-Ann
Hi Darren,
ReplyDeleteHope you are well. I enjoyed your stories and found the moral components of each to be very interesting. I also enjoyed getting a small taste of the show through your writing. I think you would do well as a screenwriter and I hope that your semester is going well. I found that I enjoyed the story about Vincent Adultman to be very good and entertaining. I feel as though there is some raw truth in these stories and I really liked how your author's note went into these raw truths. I really liked the lesson that was being taught in the Adultman story as it is something many of us fail to recognize in our day to day lives. Our own self care is vital to our success no matter what we are pursuing. Good luck with finals and Good luck with getting hired as a screenwriter.
Hi Darren! As soon as I saw the title of your portfolio, I knew it would be great. I absolutely loved the Bojack Horseman show, so I was looking forward to reading your tales. I'm from the Indian Epics class so I don't actually know what any of the source works, but from your authors notes they seem really spot on! Except Bojack's Oscar, that was less spot on and more inspired by the original with a Bojack-y twist. I also like how you included a number of the interesting characters from the TV show in your project: Princess Carolyn, Todd, Vincent, Meow Meow Fuzzyface, etc. They felt true to their character too so I could see these being actual events in the show. Your website is also really pleasant to look at. You picked a good structure and some complementing photos for your stories (though it's just the same photo over and over again, but it works well for some reason).
ReplyDelete