Week 6 Story: The Loose Cannon and the Tight Cannon

An updated version of this story can be found on my portfolio.

Bojack Horseman (Deviant Art)

Bojack Horseman, star of the hit 90s sitcom, "Horsin' Around," got hungry after a long night of drinking, but he decided that he didn't want more pizza after the 8 boxes he had already eaten for lunch. So, he got into his car and started driving to Ry McFly's Thai Fries for High Guys by Mai Tye's Tie-Dye Neckties & more.
Now, Bojack was driving with the radio on full blast to drown out the voice in his head that tells him he's not good enough. Since the radio was so loud, he couldn't hear the sound of the police sirens behind him. In fact, the police car was behind him for about ten minutes before Bojack realized. Bojack proceeded to pull over to the side of the highway. He has had many DUI's before, and he knew exactly what to do.

He rolled down his window to the sight of two police officers. The older of the two was Meow Meow Fuzzyface, a loose cannon who gets results but sees himself more of a reckless renegade. The other police officer was Officer Fuzzyface's stepson, Bark Bark Fluffybutt. Officer Fluffybutt was nervous because it was his first day on the job, and he was being trained by his stepdad.
"I'll let you handle this one, Bark Bark," Officer Fuzzyface said.
"Don't call me Bark Bark while we're on the job! Call me Officer Fluffybutt," Officer Fluffybutt said.
"Alright, Officer Fluffybutt. Whatever you say," Officer Fuzzyface replied and took a step back.
Officer Fluffybutt looked into the car at a drunk and confused Bojack Horseman.
"Hey, aren't you the horse from "Horsin' Around?"" Officer Fluffybutt said excitedly.
Bojack replied, "Yes, it's me. The horse from "Horsin' Around." What? Do you want an autograph or something?"
Officer Fluffybutt got so excited that he was going to get an autograph from his childhood hero that his tail began to wag back and forth, but he remembered that he was on the job. He thought to himself, "What would Meow Meow do?" He admired Meow Meow very much even though he would never admit it. In fact, he became a police officer to be just like Meow Meow. So, he proceeded to do exactly what he thought Officer Fuzzyface would do.
"Shut up, scumbag! Give me your license and registration." Officer Fluffybutt said.
He looked to his stepdad for approval, but Meow Meow began to chuckle at Officer Fluffybutt's remark.
Officer Fluffybutt said worriedly, "What? Am I not doing a good job?"
"No, Officer Fluffybutt. You're doing a great job," Officer Fuzzyface said through his laughter.
Bojack realized he could exploit this new officer to get out of a DUI.
Bojack laughed and said, "First day on the job, huh? I've been there. Look, how about I give you an autograph and you let me off with a stern warning? We can put this all behind us."

"Fat chance, punk! You may think that because you're a celebrity that the law doesn't apply to you, but I'm going to come down on you with the swift hammer of justice," Officer Fluffybutt replied.
Officer Fuzzyface began to roar with laughter.
"Swift hammer of justice? What comic book did you take that one from?" Officer Fuzzyface said.
"You know I stopped reading comic books when I was 12! Stop making fun of me!" Officer Fluffybutt said angrily.
He pulled his stepdad aside to have a private talk with him.
"Look, you can't keep embarrassing me on the job like this. I'm a real cop now! If we're going to be working together, I need you to give me some respect. I'm trying my best here. I'm just doing what I think you would do," Officer Fluffybutt said.
"I know you are," Officer Fuzzyface said. "That's why it's so funny, Bark Bark. I see you doing your thing and it's just a worse version of what I do. You have to develop your own police identity, something that works for you," he continued.
Bojack got tired of waiting and he drove off as the two officers were talking to each other.
Officer Fluffybutt said, "Hey. Where did that horse go? We have to go get him!"
"Oh, we can just get him another day. Bojack is always driving drunk nowadays." Officer Fuzzyface said.
They both got into their police car and drove away.

Author's Note: The original story I based this on was The Partridge and the Crow. In that story, the partridge had a beautiful strut that the crow admired, so the crow began to try to imitate the partridge's strut. He looked silly doing it because he is a crow, and the partridge made fun of him and told him to stop. The crow continued to try and imitate the partridge's walk, and he ended up not resembling the partridge or his former self. I tried to recreate the theme of that story in my story with characters from the show Bojack Horseman. Both Officer Meow Meow Fuzzyface and Bojack and characters from the show, but I made up the character Officer Bark Bark Fluffybutt. I based the character of Officer Fluffybutt on the crow in the original story by having him try to emulate his stepdad's success. Meow Meow Fuzzyface is the partridge in this story because he is being imitated and tells his stepson to be himself. I felt like the lesson of the original story was to be yourself because you look silly when you try to be anyone else, so I tried to bring that to this story. I also added the situation of Bojack getting pulled over for comedic effect.

Bibliography: The Partridge and the Crow by Maude Barrows Dutton